Torturous Aftermath
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Ward struggles with nightmares in the aftermath of his torture (and abuse) but Skye refuses to let him suffer alone.


**I don't own SHIELD and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

_Warning_: Mentions of torture and abuse.**  
**

* * *

After learning of the abuse Grant suffered at the hands of Garrett – and his family – the team understood him better. None of them instantly forgave him (although Fitz wanted to because despite everything, he still believed in Grant) but they cheered him on as he started therapy. And they agreed having him rejoin the team was in all of their best interests because they were his family, even though he thought he fucked up too much for them to ever trust him again. But the torture he experienced for weeks – which Garrett tried to "teach" him to hold up to – still had a negative impact on him. The nightmares haunted him every night, and Grant tried his best to hide them but it didn't work in his favor very well. His screams sometimes woke up the others and they didn't say anything because none of them wanted to embarrass him.

But Skye finally had enough one night and slid open his door. Still caught up in the terror of the flashbacks, Grant froze. "Skye?"

"Move over," she told him.

He looked confused but complied with her request. "What are you doing?"

"I'm helping you and because I know you're still not used to it, I'm going to give you a crash course in comfort. Scoot over." She nudged him a bit and he moved towards the wall.

He sighed when Skye lay down next to him. "You don't have to do this."

"Grant, listen to me – I want to do this. Now you want to tell me what you were dreaming about or am I going to have to sit here and wait?" Skye waited to pull him closer to her – he wasn't ready for that and she'd scared him off if she tried it right away.

Grant looked down at the sheets and started playing with a stray piece. "I can't do that to you. The things I've been through? You're pure, innocent, and I refuse to ruin any more of that."

She snorted and started laughing so hard she choked. She found it pretty amusing. "Grant, I understand what you mean but in no universe am I pure and innocent. It's sweet you see me that way, though. And I can handle whatever you throw at me, Grant Douglas – the good, the bad, the horrific. I can't help if you don't open to me. And it doesn't have to be – you can talk to Coulson or May or Fitz or Jemma or Trip. Or your therapist – I'm not picky. But holding back like this is hurting you, and you're hurting me in return." Skye ran her hand through his hair as he started trembling.

"How can you even stand to look at me like this, to be so close? I'm a murderer, Skye. How can anyone – especially you - want me after everything I've done? I don't understand. I've done nothing to deserve this. I'm a monster and always will be, no matter what the team tries to tell me. And there's someone better for you out there. " Damn it, he wasn't going to break down. Grant didn't want to dump all his issues on her because they were his alone to deal with (and the therapist, but he was still having a hard time talking to her sometimes). He spent most of their time together convinced she was going to leave him eventually, once she found someone she knew would treat her the way she deserved to be treated. It hurt, but he was still struggling to come to terms with it.

Skye wiped the tears off her face with her sleeve. "Because I see past all that. Yes, I know you're a murderer but I also know that you don't like killing people. It's one of the first things you ever told me, remember? And I think you were telling me the truth then. It's definitely not an excuse – you are responsible for your actions – but Garrett was abusive and manipulative. Grant, you were under his control for fifteen fucking years and no one ever once saw or knew anything about it. But we're here for you now because we're your family and always will be. Just talk to me."

Grant twisted around so he was facing her. "I want to talk about it, but it's hard to put into words. It's torture. And I gave up everything I knew – which wasn't much – but it was too much. And I was trained to resist it, but a few months of it? The constant pain was hard to withstand, even though my parents and Maynard and Garrett taught … abused me all the time." He still had a slightly hard time admitting that he had been abused – that he was a victim – but Grant was getting there. Baby steps.

And that's when she started to spoon him. "You fine with me touching you?"

He nodded. Grant hadn't realized it until he started therapy but he felt comfortable enough to let Skye touch him. The others? He still flinched and it became even more noticeable after he was released from prison. "I'm fine."

Skye smiled. "Good. You ready for this new mission tomorrow?"

Grant burrowed closer to her to get comfortable. "Yeah, I'm ready."

She kissed him again. "Then get some sleep. And don't say you can't because I'm here to scare away your nightmares. Nothing can get past me to get to you as long as I'm around."

He laughed. "You're my big bad protector now?"

"Damn straight. Nobody else took up the role so it's mine now and that's final."

"I love it when you're like this," Grant admitted.

"Oh, you do? I'll file that away for future reference. Now go to sleep – I'll be here when you wake up in the morning."

He felt safer with her around (something he'd never admit) and felt his eyes start to droop. He fell asleep a few minutes later; Skye following suit shortly afterwards.

Opening up about the torture – and the abuse - would not be easy for Grant, but it happened gradually. The therapy – and the team's support – went a long way towards helping him. He'd suffer nightmares for the rest of his life, but Skye always chased them away with her presence. And eventually, he started to trust himself again and slowly redeemed himself.


End file.
